I'll Take The Retcon
by bubblebear79
Summary: An alternate universe in which Jack puts his priorities in order, Gwen and Martha become aunts, Ten and Rhys become uncles, and Ianto grows a backbone and a life away from Torchwood. I'm warning you now, if Ianto is your favorite, turn away quickly!


Disclaimer: Nope, I wish, but nope. I don't own _Torchwood, Doctor Who_ or any of the characters, scenarios, etc. The people and corporations that are supposed to own it, do, darn them.

Characters: Jack, Gwen, Martha, Ten, Ianto, Rhys, a baby, various UNIT grunts

Summary: An alternate universe in which Jack puts his priorities in order, Gwen and Martha become aunts, Ten and Rhys become uncles, and Ianto grows a backbone and a life away from Torchwood. I'm warning you now, if Ianto is your favorite, turn away quickly!

Word Count: 7005

Beta: book_junkie007, thank you!

**I'll Take The Retcon**

The early morning light filtered into the bedroom and cast a greyish glow over the two men sleeping in the bed. Outside the small flat, people stirred and readied for work, but inside, buried deep in the duvet, the two men slept on. The buzzing of a mobile phone on the nightstand caused one of the men to reach out a hand and throw the offending mobile across the room. Satisfied that the buzzing was silenced, he closed his eye and tightened his grip on the man in his arms.

"You owe me a new mobile," grumbled the man in his arms.

"Sorry," mumbled the other man. "Charge it to my personal account."

"I always do."

"I know."

"You know that that's not going to stop her from ringing you."

"Hey, my phone is off and in my coat pocket in your living room."

"Great, all that means is that she's going to show up here."

"No, it doesn't, it just means that we'll be late for work, and that Gwen will just have to deal with it. Go back to, back to, back to, oh God, I'm gonna be sick!" he yelped as he jumped off the bed and pelted into the bathroom.

"Jack? Jack, are you all right?" called the other man. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, and stood at the sound of retching coming from behind the bathroom door.

"Huh? What? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It must have been something I ate last night."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Ianto, I'm fine."

"Should I make you a coffee? It really wouldn't do for Gwen to find you heaving your guts out when she inevitably turns up here and demands to know why we were late for work."

"No!" Jack shouted. "No coffee!"

"What?"

"No coffee, not right now. I don't think that my stomach could handle it."

"How about I make you a tea then?"

"Do you have any soda crackers? And, yes, a tea would be fine."

"With a request for soda crackers and tea, one would think that I'd gotten you…Jack that line you used to feed everyone, it was a joke, right?"

Jack snorted from behind the door, "Contraceptives in the rain, Ianto, relax!"

"It hasn't rained in practically three months, and summer is going to be worse!"

"If it will make you feel better, I'll get a full body scan once we get to the Hub."

"Fine, but I'm calling Gwen to let her know that we're going to be late."

"That's fine, just leave me to my vomit, and make my tea."

"And I thought your manners couldn't get any worse."

"Hey!" shouted Jack, before doubling over and splattering sick all over the toilet bowl. "I'll clean it up, don't worry about it!" he called, hearing footsteps coming back down the hallway.

"Just came down to bring you crackers and tea," Ianto replied, opening the door. "You don't look well at all," he said,noting the pale mess of a man on the floor before him.

"Thanks," he groaned.

"I'm calling Gwen; you're staying here today. We can ask for help from Martha and UNIT: they owe us."

"Ianto, I told you, I'm fine," argued Jack.

"You're covered in sick, and pale and sweating; you are not fine. Now come here and put on some fresh pajamas. You can go back to sleep, or just have a lie in and drink your tea. But no matter what, Jack Harkness, you are not going to work."

Jack shrugged and stood slowly; he shook his head and shuffled towards Ianto with a wan smile. "A lie in does sound nice, would you care to join me?"

"I'm just going to pop down to the Hub and check on Gwen, call Martha, and then come right back. Go and change your clothes and get into bed."

"You know I'm really not pregnant; you can stop treating me like I am," yawned Jack, as he crawled back under the bedclothes. "My tea?"

"Says the man who claims to not be pregnant."

"Oh shut it and get to work!"

_The Hub_

A short time later, Ianto found himself descending into the Hub with a bag of pastries tucked under one arm, and a new mobile pressed to his ear. "Thanks Martha, I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem, of course I'll come help. Just let me organize the helicopter and I'll be on my way. I can't believe that Jack is ill enough to warrant a sick day."

"I made him stay home. He wanted to come to work, but he was in no condition. Listen, I'm rather suspicious of Jack's illness. He's been queasy every day for the last week, and this morning he vomited."

"Threw up?"

"Yep."

"In the morning?"

"Yep."

"And he's been sick all week?"

"Yep."

"Is he...?"

"No! At least he doesn't think so," Ianto replied, stepping off the lift. "I know he likes to tell everyone it's possible, but I always thought he was just making one of his patented outrageous statements."

"Well, that's always a possibility. He has told me that in the past, and he used to wind the Doctor up by saying the same thing. How about I check him over just to be safe?"

"That would be great," said Ianto. "I'll see you soon then."

"Sounds good," Martha answered as she hung up.

"Gwen," shouted Ianto, "are you in yet? I brought breakfast." He walked over to Gwen's desk, placing a pastry in a napkin on it.

"Down here!" she called. "In the medical bay!"

"What are you doing down here?" Ianto asked, walking over.

"That Weevil that you and Jack caught last night had some weird markings; I thought I'd run a few blood tests."

"Oh, I brought you a pastry for breakfast, it's on your desk."

"You are a god among men, especially if you can produce coffee to go with it."

"On its way," he said with a chuckle and a roll of his eyes.

"Where's Jack?"

"He's ill, at my flat. Last I saw he was sipping a weak tea, and eating soda crackers."

"Is he pregnant?"

"He swears that he's not," sighed Ianto.

"And what do you think?"

"I think that until I can stand him under a deluge of rainwater, he's not going to get any sex of any kind from me."

Gwen giggled and walked up the steps form the medical bay towards Ianto. She smiled and patted his arm. "Knowing Jack, he probably just ate something that didn't agree with him."

"That's one of the reasons I decided to call Martha. She can help you keep an eye on things, as well as check Jack over."

"Ah, that's a good plan, but the Rift's been quiet lately. The program Tosh wrote isn't showing anything big coming up today."

"And now that you've said that, it's all going to go pear shaped."

"Urgh, you are the most pessimistic human being I have ever met. Everything will be just fine! Go on home and take care of your pregnant wife after you make me a coffee. I'll send Martha to you when she arrives."

"I'm telling Jack you said that. He'll make me put you on decaf if you're not careful."

"There's a Starbucks down the road," teased Gwen in a singsong tone.

"Starbucks or my coffee, no contest," scoffed the young man.

Gwen laughed and grabbed the Danish from her desk; she bit into it and groaned with pleasure. "Thanks for this!"

"It's no problem."

_Ianto's Flat_

Meanwhile, back at Ianto Jones' flat, Jack Harkness had curled himself into a ball and burrowed completely under the duvet. His eyes were closed, and he was deep in thought. Despite his many assurances to the contrary, he was beginning to think that he might be about to repeat the biggest mistake of his very long life. It wasn't the idea of a child that scared Jack, but it was the idea that his child would be another person he would care for, love, and ultimately lose, that terrified him.

He tightened his arms around himself and started whispering under his breath, "If there's anyone in there, I might as well get used to apologising to you. I'm sorry that I'm going to watch you grow up, grow old, and then lose you, and all the while I'll never change. I'm so sorry that I'm going to hurt you in the end. I promise I will try my best to be a good father if you're even in there, but it's probably better that you're not."

"Jack?" asked a voice from behind his wall of blankets. "Jack, are you in there?"

"Martha?" he said, poking his head out and smiling wanly.

"Yes, now tell me what's going on with you. Ianto thinks you've taken ill."

Jack rearranged the blankets and slowly sat up. To Martha's trained eye, something was very off about her friend. She sat down on the end of the bed and placed a comforting hand on his ankle.

"But you think it's more than that, don't you?" she asked gently.

"Did I ever tell you about one of my more interesting natural features?"

"You mean besides being devastatingly handsome, having bright blue eyes, and an unforgettable jawline?"

"Aha! I knew it was the jawline, you just couldn't stay away."

"That's right, you've found me out. I helicoptered all the way from London to see you and your fabulous profile. Now, stop deflecting and tell me what's going on with you."

Jack sighed heavily and took Martha's delicate hand in his own before deciding to share one of his many secrets. It was admittedly one of the secrets that he had long since made known through countless jokes, but was now going to truly confirm.

"Jack, whatever it is, it can't be that bad."

He laughed roughly and dropped his head into his free hand. "Yes, Martha, actually it is."

"Jack are you, you know, um, up the duff?"

"Yes, I think I am."

"I thought you were joking about that particular, um, talent."

"A quirk of genetics in the forty-fourth century gives men the ability to get pregnant. So yes, Martha, I think I'm going to have a baby."

She squeezed his hand gently, "Hey, try and relax before you go jumping to conclusions. I can run a scan if you like?"

Jack nodded numbly and moved to get off the bed. "Fine, just let me get changed and we'll head back to the Hub."

"There's no need, I've got a hand held scanner right here, courtesy of UNIT. Of course, I didn't tell them why I was taking it, but I got it nonetheless. Just lie back and lift your shirt; and we'll run the scanner over your belly to see what we can see."

He nodded again and concentrated on Martha's face, trying to discern from her expression whether he'd made the correct assumption. "What's the verdict?"

"Let me just get Ianto from the front room, I think it's only fair that both of you hear what I'm about to say."

"There's no need, I'm right here," Ianto said from the doorway, a strangely tense expression on his face. "Just tell us what you've found out."

"You're both going to be parents," Martha said in a rush. "I don't know how it's medically possible in this century, but the results on the scanner show that there is a month old fetus in your belly."

Jack scrubbed his face with his hands and looked over to where Ianto stood, unmoving. "I'm sorry, Ianto."

"For what? For not being careful? For getting pregnant? For lying to me? For burying your past through horrible jokes? How many things are you apologising for?" Ianto asked tersely.

"Everything; for everything."

"Great, so you're sorry; excellent, fabulous; I'm so glad to know that you're sorry," he snapped, stepping closer to the bed.

"Ianto, calm down," said Martha, moving to stand between Jack and the angry young man.

"Calm down?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes! Calm down; calm down before you say or do something that you're going to regret. If you need to walk away, please just walk away."

Without saying another word, Ianto spun on his heel and walked out of the bedroom. Martha and Jack heard the living man grab his jacket and keys before wrenching open his front door and closing it with a resounding crash.

"Jack? Are you all right? This is pretty big news."

"No, Martha, I'm not," he said weakly.

"He'll come around, Jack, he loves you."

The older man laughed bitterly and rolled onto his side away from his friend. "Love? That didn't seem like love, and the sad part is, I don't blame him one bit."

"I'm sure there's a way we can take care of this if you want."

"No, it's not the baby's fault their father has the particular ability to get pregnant. They deserve a chance to have a life, preferably away from me, but a chance at life nonetheless."

"Then okay, I have to make a phone call."

"To who?"

"The Doctor. If I'm going to keep you and your baby alive for nine months, then I'm going to need all the help I can get. I'm hoping he can nip to the forty-fourth or forty-fifth centuries to get me some information so I'm not flying totally blind."

"Oh, okay," Jack yawned and closed his eyes.

"You rest," Martha whispered. She drew the bedclothes around her friend and walked out into the living room. The young woman pulled her mobile from her pocket and dialed a now familiar number. "Hello, Doctor? Doctor, are you there?"

"Martha Jones! Good to hear your voice! How are you?"

"Well, Doctor, I'm in a bit of pickle actually."

"What? Why?"

"I'm down in Cardiff helping out Jack, and the two of us need your help."

"What did he do?" asked the Time Lord with a heavy sigh.

"Nothing! He didn't do anything," Martha answered. She took a deep breath, before proceeding to tell the Doctor everything. "So, I need your help. I want to keep Jack and the baby alive for nine months, and to do that, I need some information."

"Don't worry about it! I'll get whatever you need, and bring it to you in a few minutes. Sit tight."

"Will do, thank you Doctor," she replied, snapping her mobile shut and dropping into a chair to wait.

Martha smiled as she heard the grinding sounds of the TARDIS fill the living room, and saw the blue box begin to appear in the corner. The door burst open and the tall and lanky Time Lord bounded out, his arms full of large medical texts. "Hello Martha! Here's the information for you!

Now, where's the Captain?"

"He's in the bedroom back there. Now be nice," she warned. "His young man's gone and done a bunk, and he's pretty vulnerable."

"Martha, relax, I only came to give him a bit of good news. Now, get reading!" the Doctor said cheerily. He wandered down the hall and slowly opened the bedroom door to see Captain Jack lying quietly on his side. "Jack? Are you awake?"

"Yes, Doctor, it's nearly impossible to sleep through the sounds of your ship arriving. Did you come to tell me that you're disappointed?"

"Why does everyone think that I'm constantly disappointed in you? Martha told me to be nice, Tish can't stop talking about you; I even met your Ms. Cooper in London one afternoon, and don't get me started on the absolute right bollocking SHE gave me. No, Captain, I'm not disappointed in you, and I never really was. Honestly, Jack, I just came to tell you something that I think you're going to like."

"What?"

"Along with getting some information for Martha about male pregnancies, I made a quick, unplanned trip to a little planet called New New New New New New New Earth, and while I was there I met the most adorable little girl at a play park. She was this little brunette with bright blue eyes, dimples, and her father's incredibly cheeky smile. She knew who I was, even though I'd never met her. I think it had something to do with her father's own infatuation with me, that she saw me and ran full tilt, throwing her arms around my knees and pronouncing them, 'knobby like my daddy says.' She told me that her daddy would want to know that I was there, and for me to follow her over to the bench where he was reading a book. Imagine my surprise to find that you were the man she was dragging me to see. So, no more spoilers than that, but hang on to the knowledge that everything is going to be all right, and I guess I'll be seeing you in about a year or so."

"A girl? It's a girl?"

"That's right, Captain, and she's beautiful."

"And this wasn't Earth?"

"No, a different planet in a different time, but that's all the spoilers that I'm going to give you. Now! I should see if Martha needs help understanding the materials I brought her; got to keep you and my niece healthy after all. Oh! Before I forget, here," said the Doctor, rummaging through his coat pockets and tossing a small package at Jack. "It's a portable perception filter, a little less crudely made than the TARDIS key, but the same effect. You can be outside during the day when you start getting bigger, and no one will be any the wiser."

"Thank you Doctor, and for the record, I never felt like you were disappointed in me."

"I know. Take care of the two of you," said the Time Lord, walking quickly out of the bedroom and back to Martha.

"Is he all right?"

"He's going to be," said the Doctor. "Listen, I'm going to need you to take care of him. Can you get away from UNIT for a bit?"

"Already done, told them that with Jack's team down two people, they needed a medic and they wouldn't get a better one than me."

"And that is why you're brilliant! Bloody brilliant! Keep him and that baby girl healthy."

"Wait? What? How'd you know that?"

The Doctor grinned and tapped his nose, "Spoilers! Ha!" With a wave over his shoulder, the Doctor disappeared back into his ship, and into the Time Vortex.

Martha rolled her eyes and shook her head before going back into the bedroom. "So the Doctor said that everything is going to be all right, and that apparently, you're having my niece?"

"How many aunts and uncles is this baby going to have?" Jack said with a passing attempt at his trademark smile.

"As many as she wants. The Doctor won't tell me how he knows, but everything goes well, and that makes me feel better. I've even told UNIT to stuff it for a year. They owe you after Owen and Tosh, and I'm staying on to help you out."

Jack nodded, picking at the threads on the blankets, before sighing and looking back up Martha. "Thank you."

"It's not a problem, and hey, I get three hundred and sixty-five days of staring at that fantastic profile."

"Told you."

She smiled and sat down at the end of the bed. "You're okay?"

"Apparently, we're going to be."

Martha nodded, then visibly jumped as she heard the sound of the front door opening. "Do you want me to stay?"

Jack nodded, "Please."

"I'll just go and make sure he's calm before giving you two some privacy."

"Thank you."

Martha nodded and walked into the living room. "Ianto?"

"Yep."

"Are you okay?"

The young man closed his eyes and mumbled, "Yes."

"And you're calmer now?"

"Yes."

"Can you keep it together when you go and talk to him?"

"I hope so."

"Jack needs you to stay calm," she said sternly. "I won't let you go back there unless you can keep a civil tongue in your head."

"Fine."

"Then go talk to him. I'll wait out here."

Ianto rolled his eyes and walked away. He opened the bedroom door and stepped inside, before shutting it firmly behind him. He didn't move any closer to the bed and the apprehensive man sitting there. "You seem like you feel a lot better."

"I've stopped vomiting, that helps."

"Good, and the baby?"

"Healthy, at least as healthy as you can be at being thirty days past conception."

"Okay."

"Come and sit down," said Jack, patting the bed. "I'm not going to bite you."

"No."

"Do you want me to go?" Jack asked softly.

"No."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want retcon."

"What?"

"I want retcon. I was wrong to even come to Cardiff after Canary Wharf, and I don't want to remember any of it. I've already set up some potential interviews in Germany. I'll pack up and be gone within a week. Take that time to get the correct dosage measured, and come next Wednesday, I'll take it and be on my way."

"You don't mean that," Jack's voice was tinged with sadness.

"Yes, I do," he replied quietly. "I'll step out until you can get changed and back to the Hub, and then I'll come by on Wednesday."

The older man nodded slowly, "Fine, just give me a few minutes."

Ianto nodded and left the room. He walked back down the hallway to the living room and sat down next to Martha. "Can you go back to the Hub with him?"

"Ianto, what's going on?" she asked.

"I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I'm leaving Wales. I'm going to Germany, I'm going to take retcon, enough to wipe out everything past Canary Wharf. It wasn't right for me to come back here."

"You're having me on!"

"No, I'm not. Martha, I'm not ready to be a father, and there's no way that I can even wrap my head around the fact that it's Jack that's having the baby."

"But Ianto."

"No, Martha. I can't do it."

She shook her head, and stood up. "I can't believe you're going to abandon Jack and your daughter! You know, this is a fine time to show a spine: the minute that it gets difficult you take off running. Pathetic! Go on then, run, the rest of us will take care of Jack and the baby."

"Martha," Jack said from behind her. "Martha, that's not fair. Come on, he's got a lot to do; let's just go."

One Week Later

_The Hub_

"And you've got everything squared away?" asked a quiet Jack from behind his desk.

"Yep, I managed to get a position with a security firm in Frankfurt. Someone is going to sublet my flat out. I'm packed and everything. I've been staying in a hotel for the last few days. I just came to see if you would give me the retcon."

"Ianto, you can't even look me in the eye. Are you sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, Jack, this is what I want. I need to get away from here."

"Fine, go and see Martha. She can administer the dose and we can get you back to your hotel so you can sleep it off."

Ianto dug in his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope; he tossed it at the desk and turned to leave Jack's office. "It's for her, when you think she's old enough."

"Goodbye Ianto," he replied softly. He pressed a button in his ear and spoke quietly, "Martha? Ianto's on his way down to you. Give him the dosage we talked about; once he's under, the two grunts UNIT lent us can take him to his car."

"Will do, Jack. Are you okay?"

"According to the Doctor, the baby and I will be, and that's what I'm clinging to right now."

"Let me know if you're feeling any worse for wear, you hear me?"

"Yes, Doctor Jones," sighed Jack theatrically.

"Be sure that Gwen doesn't come in while he's still here, or she might try to kill him, again," Martha said with a chuckle.

"She and Rhys are under house arrest until we have confirmation that Ianto's on a plane bound for Germany."

"Gwen wanting to kill him I understand, but who would have ever thought that Rhys would try as well."

Jack laughed, "I was pretty shocked myself! He had to have known it was coming: Gwen has a devastating right hook, and doesn't hold back when she's protecting people she cares about. I just never thought that Rhys would just stand there while she pounded on Ianto, and when she was done, take a turn for himself."

"There's something about a baby that can make a man a little crazy. Listen, he's here, I want you to take a rest while I deal with him."

"Thanks, I like that idea. I'll just lie down out in the Hub for a bit," Jack said and stood up from his desk. He walked into the main area of the Hub and stretched out on the sofa, closing his eyes and sighing deeply.

One Month Later

_The Hub_

"Oh for God's SAKE, Jack, stop looking at yourself in the mirror!" sighed Gwen. "You are not any bigger than you were a month ago!"

"I feel bigger."

"You look the same, just that you've put on a little bit of weight," Martha agreed from across the Hub. "Maybe we ought to take away your mirror and replace it with a scale."

"Bite your tongue, ladies!" the older man admonished happily.

"I'm glad to see you smiling again," Gwen said from her desk.

"I feel better today!" Jack said brightly. "I managed to eat something this morning, still fit into my trousers, and I got hit on by a stunningly gorgeous woman out by the water tower."

"Oh yeah, he's feeling better," said both Gwen and Martha in unison.

Jack smiled sheepishly, "Guess I'm getting a bit predictable."

"Have you given any more thought to my sister's idea?" Martha asked.

The Captain shook his head before going back into his office. "Nope!" he called over his shoulder. "And I'll tell you why."

"Well, why?" asked both women, following him through the doorway.

Jack sat down in his chair and folded both hands on his desktop. "I'm leaving after the baby's born."

Martha gasped, "WHAT?"

"No way," said Gwen. "You love Torchwood. This is your life."

"But it's not hers," he replied simply. "It's not hers, and it's not fair that she be born into it."

"Where will you go?" asked Martha.

"The Doctor told me something that I'm going to make true. Within a year after she's born, he's going to take both of us to a planet far off in the future so that she can have a normal childhood. So, Ms. Cooper and Ms. Jones, does being the co-heads of Torchwood sound good to the two of you? You'll get to train up a new, handpicked team, and pass on protecting the planet to the next generation."

"Wow, Jack, I never thought I'd see you give this up," Martha said, finally finding her voice again.

"Well, Dr. Jones, I'm going to. To be perfectly honest, I'm really ready for a new adventure, and what could be more adventurous than raising a child on your own? Now, we need to settle the matter of where my little one and I are going to live until the Doctor comes for us. Do either of you ladies have any suggestions?"

"I'll get looking," said Gwen as she ran back out to her computer.

"Hey! Order a pizza too! I'm hungry," Jack called.

Two Months Later

_Jack's Temporary Flat_

"I can't believe that you live somewhere else now, and that I no longer have to enter the Hub in fear of finding you half naked and alone in the hothouse," said Gwen. She placed a box of kitchen supplies on the floor next to where Jack was sitting. "Rhys is bringing up a recliner for you; one of his mates had a spare. The bed is being delivered within the hour so you'd better pop that perception filter on unless you want to be doling out retcon to the movers."

"Huh?"

"Jack, are you okay?"

The immortal man looked up at the concerned expression flitting across Gwen's face and nodded. "I'm fine, just a little tired."

"It's understandable. Just sit tight until Rhys brings up the chair; then you can rest for a bit. Then I can show you some things that I saw, and couldn't imagine that little girl not having in her bedroom."

"Oh God," Jack moaned fondly. "Are you trying to win the title of most beloved auntie? Already?"

"Well, I'm trying to keep you distracted so you stop thinking about going off active duty because you're having a baby!"

"Good job," muttered the man, wincing at his friend's bluntness.

"What? Oh, well, erm, terribly sorry about that," Gwen said sheepishly.

"It's fine, I was just thinking about what I would do with myself when I got too big to move comfortably," he said honestly.

"Sit on your arse in this big chair you will," Rhys said, barging through the doorway, "and eat bonbons."

Four Months Later

_Jack's Flat_

"How are you feeling today, Jack?" asked the Doctor as he opened the front door. "Blimey, you're looking rather big."

"I'm feeling it too," groaned the man from where he was lying prone in his chair. He groaned again at the sound of the Doctor's sonic screwdriver scanning his body. "What are you doing?"

"Just making sure she's all right."

"Oh, she's definitely all right, she's been tap dancing on daddy's bladder all morning. If I have to wait any longer, she's not going to need to be removed, she'll just walk right out of me."

"Aww, bless. No, no babies are going to be walking out of you, you've only got about another month to go," said the Doctor.

"Is that the only reason you're here? To tell me I've got thirty long days to go?"

"No Captain, I'm just checking on you in Martha's stead; she, Gwen and the UNIT fellows are investigating a large rift spike in Swansea."

"Do they need backup?" Jack said, struggling to sit up.

"And what could you do?" the Doctor said quietly.

"Provide support from the Hub, like Tosh used to do."

"They're fine, I've looked into it already, and it's a friendly visitor."

"You and I have very different definitions of friendly," Jack said with his eyebrows raised.

"A four headed Tyberian IS friendly," argued the Doctor.

"Okay, that one I'll give you."

"Oh! My mobile is buzzing, now that's a rather pleasant sensation. I've never set it to vibrate before, I may have to do it again. Hello? Martha? All clear? Brilliant!"

One Month Later

_The Hub_

"Okay Jack, I've started the medicine drip, still doing okay?" asked Martha. She surveyed her very pregnant patient lying splayed out on an improvised operating table and smiled. "Once you're good and numbed up, this isn't going to take very long."

Jack nodded, "Not that I mind, but do I need to be practically naked in front of everyone for this? I mean, if I can't see my fun bits, it doesn't seem fair for anyone else to be able to either."

"Oh God, it's as if his libido has realized that it's about to be released after nine months in prison," moaned Rhys from behind Jack's head.

"Rhys? What's Rhys doing here?"

"I don't get to meet my niece at the same time as her multitude of aunties and uncles? I hardly call that fair."

"All of you, daddy included, shut it. I need to concentrate now," ordered Martha. She picked a laser scalpel and switched it on, noting when the beam changed from red to green, indicating that it was ready to go. "Here we go, ladies and gentlemen."

Martha slid the laser until it was slicing cleanly through Jack's abdomen. Her eyebrows were knit tight in concentration, and didn't relax until she neared what resembled a uterus. "I'm to the baby; I'm just going to pick up a traditional scalpel for the rest of the procedure, wouldn't do for the sprout to have a laser burn on her bum before she's born." The doctor continued to cut through the thick tissue and placed clamps to hold the incision open. "Still doing okay Jack?"

"All I feel is a little pressure, no pain."

"Good, because I'm about to pull her out," said Martha. She dropped the surgical tool and reached into Jack's belly, pulling firmly until all the pressure Jack was feeling was released with a whoosh and the appearance of an indignantly squawking infant. "Hi there! Let me just cut that cord off, and you can go to your daddy."

"Wow," breathed Gwen. "Oh wow." She leaned closer to Rhys and rested her head on his shoulder, staring down at the scene unfolding in the medical bay.

"Congratulations, Captain," the Doctor said from next to Gwen. "I told you everything would be okay."

"Thanks Doctor," Jack mumbled. "Martha? She's okay?"

"Perfect, she's just perfect. Here, why don't you show your daddy just how perfect you are," she said, handing the wrapped infant to Jack. "You did well, and the incisions are healing already."

"Thank you Martha, from both of us," he whispered, his eyes only on the little girl resting on his chest. "Hello there, it's nice to finally meet you."

"Jack, what's her name?" asked Gwen.

"Angelina."

"It's lovely."

"It's a reminder of my past, and to not just run away when things get difficult."

One Month Later

_The Hub_

Martha turned around from her computer and smiled at the sight before her eyes. Jack was sitting on the couch with his daughter resting on his shoulder; he was humming lightly and running his fingertips over her back in a soothing pattern as his eyes drifted slowly closed.

"Is she asleep?" the doctor whispered.

Jack nodded without opening his eyes, and motioned for her to come and sit on the couch with him. "Come and hold your niece, Martha Jones." He slid Angelina off his shoulder and into the waiting arms of his friend.

"She's such a beautiful baby," Martha said quietly.

"Yeah, I make pretty ones, don't I?"

The woman giggled, "Will modesty ever be an issue for you?"

Jack leaned his head against the wall and grinned up at the ceiling. "Nope."

"Well, Angelina, let's hope you don't take after your father in that respect."

"That might be a problem, I plan to spend as much time as I can just telling her how special and wonderful she is. She could turn out to be worse than me."

"Ha! Doubtful!"

"Oi! Just for that, give me back my baby."

Two Months Later

_Cardiff City Center_

"Oh ho Miss Angelina, look where we're going eh? Is that a toy shop? Are we going to buy you a new toy? Will it be something soft and squishy for you to chew on at bedtime?" cooed Rhys Williams to the baby in his arms. He laughed as she shoved her fist in her mouth and squealed happily. He stood back as his wife held open the door to the store and grinned at him.

"Rhys Williams, if I didn't know you any better I'd say that you're rather taken with that girl."

"Well, she's good practice, what if we decide to have kids one day? Think of all the practice we're getting as babysitters."

"Hmmm, maybe we need UNIT to have conference calls more often," mused Gwen. "Oh, look at this little giraffe! How precious is that?"

Six Months Later

_The Hub_

"And you've got everything you need?" a teary eyed Gwen asked. She smoothed out the wrinkles on Jack's greatcoat, and patted his shoulder awkwardly.

The Captain smiled down at her, "Yes. All the clothes, all the toys, everything that we could possibly need, we've got. I've closed down all the accounts in my name, and Martha is going to take over my flat. The only thing left to do is hand over the reins of Torchwood to you two; here is my official letter of resignation, try not to allow any aliens to take over the world, yeah?"

Gwen nodded and swallowed down a sob, "We'll try our best. Take care of that precious little girl, and be happy with her."

Jack laughed, "I'm happier than I've been in years." He shifted the baby in his arms and smiled as she let out a contented sigh, chewing on her stuffed giraffe. "She's my world."

"We can see that," Rhys said from beside Gwen. "Take care of yourself and her, d'ya hear me?

Now that we have a direct line to the Doctor, he can take us to you for a surprise inspection."

"And I will," the Doctor said from behind the small crowd of people. "It's time to go, come on Captain Jack and Princess Angelina, let's go and see your new home."

"Well, I guess this is it," Martha said shakily. She reached up and pulled Jack and the baby into a tight hug. "The Doctor has a way to reach you right? I'm going to want to check up on you every now and then," she whispered.

"Always, you are always welcome," he answered quietly.

"Good, now get going before I change my mind about letting you leave," Martha joked. She stepped back to join Gwen and Rhys away from the where the TARDIS was sitting. "Bye Jack."

The Captain smiled and waved before grabbing his pack and disappearing inside the ship. He dropped the bag on the floor and took a seat in the control room. "There we go," he said to his daughter, "we're all set. The Doctor promises that he's found us a nice home, somewhere and when that's nice and safe. You'll be able to grow up without worrying about people trying to hurt daddy, and the best part is that with all the money I've saved, I never have to work. You can be my only focus, at least until you're old enough to decide that you're too cool to be seen with me."

"That will never happen," the Doctor said, bounding into the control room and swinging the door shut.

"How do you know that?"

"Spoilers," cautioned the Time Lord with a big smile. He started up the ship and ran around the control console, pressing buttons and pulling levers until the ship stopped with a thump. "And we're here!"

"Where?"

"Hopefully we landed in the entryway of your new flat. As soon as we open the door, and unload, you're home."

"Thank you Doctor."

"Anything for my favorite niece," he said. "Now, let's see if we can get you unloaded and set up. I've done my checking, and your new city does include a banking establishment that will exchange currency for time travelers. Here's a piece of psychic paper, just walk in there tomorrow and change those pounds to credits so that you can stay home and raise this beautiful little girl."

"First thing tomorrow, but right now I'd like to get unloaded and have Angelina's room set up before I can even think about anything else."

"Well, then let's get started!"

Four Years Later

_New New New New New New New Earth_

"Angie! Stay on the play space!" Jack called. He sat down on the park bench and pulled a book from the pocket of his greatcoat. Even four years in his personal future, and in another century, Captain Jack Harkness still favored the style of dress he'd grown accustomed to over his many years on the original Earth. He opened his book and cast one eye down at the page, and one on his little girl. He played the events of the past five years over and over in his mind's eye. From the day he realized he was pregnant, to the day he said goodbye to her father, to the day he actually held his daughter in his arms.

It was the night that the Tarot Girl had appeared in front of him on a busy Cardiff street that stood out most in his mind. _**He was chasing a weevil through the city center when the diminutive girl walked into his path, handed him a card and said, "Your time on this planet is at an end. The traveler will return and bear you and the child to a normal life."**_

"Daddy! Daddy! Look who it is! It's Doctor! He came to see us!" a little voice shouted in front of him.

"What?" Jack asked, tossing down his book and staring up at the bemused face of the Doctor.

"Doctor."

"I told you."

"That you did."

"How are you doing?"

"Angie and I are doing just fine. What are you doing here?"

"I think the TARDIS wanted me to be able to reassure you when I go to drop off these materials for Martha."

"What materials?"

"Well, I was about to go and drop some materials on male pregnancies with the illustrious Doctor Jones so that she can keep you and Angelina alive; however, my ship decided that she was going send me here first."

"Why?"

"Why does the TARDIS do anything?"

"Because she wants to," chuckled Jack. "Do you have time to stay? I think that Miss Angelina would like to hear about some of your adventures before she goes down for her afternoon nap."

"PLEASE STAY!" shouted the little girl.

"Well, with a request like that, who could say no," said the Doctor. "So, Ms. Angelina, what do you say to hearing about your daddy and Auntie Martha saving the world?"


End file.
